Sex is wonderful. We spend our entire lives in pursuit of the greatest gift nature blessed upon the world. The emotional and physical connection formed when two people make love knows no rival.
But what if we told you there’s a secret to making sex even better? Don’t believe us?
Welcome to the world of tantric sex.
Sting blessed many people with their first introduction to the term in the 1990s.
An interview joke gone awry made people believe the rock star practiced sex with his wife for upwards of seven hours a day. He didn’t, of course, and later clarified what he actually meant.
But the word was already out.
Though as we all know, pop culture doesn’t do the best job with information. Before Sting, tantra had been practiced for thousands and thousands of years.
Tantric Sex Has Ancient Beginnings
The word “tantra” belongs to the Sanskrit language, meaning, “to weave together.” It’s a practice comprised of rituals that arose in 5th century India and would later go on to help lay the foundation of Hinduism and Buddhism.
Tantra is also the belief system where tantric sex can trace its roots.
Tantric sex was first practiced as a technique in sadhana meditation, as a means to achieve spiritual enlightenment. Practitioners sought divine levels of enlightenment through the union and expansion of spiritual energy.
It later reached the Western world through colonialism and continued to spread; despite facing criticism for losing touch with tantra’s original purpose.
Western practitioners and scholars argue against this criticism by claiming Western adaptations are the natural progression of cultural exchange.
Geoffrey Samuel, professor of history, archaeology, and religion at Cardiff University, argues for neotantra in his book, “Tantric Revisionings, New Understandings of Tibetan Buddhism and Indian Religion.”
“On the contrary, it [tantric sex] took up themes of considerable depth and significance within Western culture, and synthesized them creatively with borrowings from Buddhist and Hindu sources,” Samuel writes.
It’s from this significance and creativity that we derive our current tantric sex practices.
Tanctric Sex Has Limitless Potential
Tantric sex focuses on the journey, not the destination. It’s the difference between a nap on the train to await arrival, and enjoying what the train ride has to offer.
Contrary to “regular sex,” orgasm is not the goal.
Practitioners sit in each other’s laps, wrap their legs around one another, synchronize their breathing to match their partner’s heartbeat, and gaze deep into each other’s eyes. It’s quite the sight for someone new to the practice.
But that’s the basis of Western tantric sex. The extension and combination of your bodies’ energy into your partners.
Genital intercourse is only a small portion of the experience and lasts much longer than traditional sex. Body movement is not emphasized, but instead the movement of energy throughout the physical and emotional space that surrounds yourself and your partner.
Janet W. Hardy, the author of numerous books on alternative sexualities, shared her experiences surrounding tantra with Salon magazine.
Hardy experienced what she describes as, “The deepest ecstasy I’ve ever felt, like orgasm times a hundred, from the tips of my hair to the ends of my toenails.”
The name for her experience is a kundalini awakening. An intense spiritual experience that she triggered while sitting eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart, and undulating her hips at her partner Dossie. There was no genital contact.
Are you convinced by tantric sex yet?
How To Take The Journey with Tantric Sex
The easiest way to introduce yourself to tantric sex is to sign up with a partner for classes taught by a “professional” practitioner. They’ll be able to walk you through the techniques needed to spiritually connect with your lover. (We assume you already have the basic intercourse part down pat)
There are also a variety of written resources available to peruse. You’ve probably heard of the Kama Sutra, and we recommend it as required reading for everyone.
You can get a jump start at home by practicing control of the pubococcygeus muscle. If you’ve ever done a Kegel, you already know where your PC muscle is.
Tantra expert, Suzie Heumann, believes Kegels are part of a healthy sexual response that helps us stay in tune with our sexual energy.
Studies have backed up her claims, showing the PC muscle’s part in improved ejaculatory control for males, and increased genital blood flow with stronger vaginal contractions for females.
Use your next intercourse as the beginning of your tantric life. Focus on developing a spiritual connection with your partner before any physical contact happens. Move onto non-intimate touch and begin to align your energies through breathing exercises and eye contact.
When you feel close enough to your partner you may move onto genital contact. However, do not have intercourse too soon. While the focus of tantric sex is the journey, you need to pack your proverbial bags before embarking.
Tantric sex author, Helena Niestroj, recommends setting aside two or more hours for your tantric session. She advocates practicing tantric massage, deep kissing, and meditation. Sex is optional and cuddling is crucial.
Make sex slow and deliberate when you finally take the plunge. Focus on each other, not each other’s genitals. Let the sensations rise gradually until they push into the forefront of your mind. Chances are, by this time you’ll be well on your way to sex on a higher plane.
Orgasm may happen, but it’s possible to feel a long, wave-like quasi-orgasm, and that’s what we’re shooting for.
Mastering tantric sex isn’t a process that happens overnight. It can take years of practice to perfect the art. The old adage, you have to walk before you can run, really encompasses learning tantra.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed our first blog post and are excited to read more. Our goal is to cover a wide variety of sex topics to keep things fresh and exciting. If you have anything you’d like to read or know more about, let me know. We’re open to any and all suggestions from our readers as we roll out with our blog launch.
Until next time, happy reading!
